Suleika Jaouad

gainst all odds, they persevere, becoming better, braver for their battle scars. Once victory has been secured, they return to the ordinary world transformed, with accrued wisdom and a renewed appreciation for life. For the past few years, I’ve been bombarded with this narrative, observing it in movies and books, fundraising campaigns and get-well cards.

Taking Melissa’s ashes to the place she loved most doesn’t lessen the pain of losing her, but it has shown me a way that I might begin to engage with my grief. It has introduced me to the role of ritual in mourning

But now, I’m not so sure, because cancer does a weird thing to you. It takes who you are and what you think you know and throws that all in the trash.”