Podcast: Death, Sex & Money

Isabel Allende didn’t publish her first book until she was 39, after losing nearly everything in the wake of the Chilean military coup. More than four decades later, she’s become one of the most beloved Spanish-language authors, with over 80 million copies of her books sold worldwide.

After political exile, writing books became Allende’s way of making sense of the world. She wrote through divorce, affairs, and moving across continents. But after the devastating loss of her daughter Paula, even writing felt impossible, until her mother urged her to begin again. “My mother knew that the only way for me to walk the tunnel of grief was writing,” she says.

In this episode, Anna and Isabel talk about loss, late starts, and new beginnings. Isabel met her most recent husband, Roger, in her late 70s, “an age when most people are knitting for their great-grandchildren.”

Allende’s newest novel, “My Name Is Emilia del Valle,” is out now.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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In West Virginia, Republicans hold one of the largest supermajorities in the country, and it’s growing. Just 11 Democrats — down from 14 last year — are in the 134-member Legislature. It's a political reality that isn't necessarily conducive to advancing LGBTQ rights. But that's Andrew Schneider's job.

As head of Fairness West Virginia, Andrew has spent a decade as the only full-time lobbyist at the state capitol working on LGBTQ issues. His approach? Winning people over through listening rather than confrontation, a strategy he developed in college when he purposely chose a conservative campus to practice changing minds.

"I quickly realized that if I sat back and let someone talk to me and did not jump in and judge, they would trust me and we could actually have a meaningful conversation where ultimately I could inject my views," Andrew said.

In this episode we talk to Andrew, and political leaders in West Virginia whom he’s lobbied, about his relational approach to getting through issues that matter to him, and how that strategy is being tested in Donald Trump’s second term.

This episode is part of a series we’re calling Living At Odds, you can hear the rest of the series in the Slate podcast How To!

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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To fly a plane, pilots must prove to the Federal Aviation Administration that they’re physically and mentally fit. But when it comes to mental health, the rules are complicated and, some say, outdated.
Pilots who need antidepressants are limited to a short list of approved medications and must take a mandatory six-month leave. Even common diagnoses like anxiety or depression can trigger reviews that could ground them.
The F.A.A.’s rules are born out of desire to keep the public safe, but in this episode we talk to pilots, aspiring pilots, and medical aviation professionals about their unintended consequence: incentivizing people to stay quiet about their mental health issues.
Read: Why Airline Pilots Feel Pushed to Hide Their Mental Illness
Podcast production by Zoe Azulay.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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Kareem Rahma, host of the viral web series Subway Takes, says he’s been working since he was 14 and hasn’t really taken a break. In high school, he worked service jobs. In college, he bought and re-sold motorcycles, jeans, and whatever else he thought he could flip.
This week on the show, Kareem explains why he’s had so many jobs, including posts at Vice and the New York Times, and he discusses the financial maneuvering that allowed him to pivot to comedy in his 30s.
You can check out his podcast, Subway Takes Uncut, here.
Podcast production by Cameron Drews.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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At a time when skepticism about conventional medicine has become even more mainstream, we’re revisiting a story about the causes and effects of that mistrust. Archie Matlow’s mother refused to get a surgery that could have saved her life, which led to her and Archie trying to love each other while bitterly at odds.
You can listen to the full audio piece Archie made here, and you can order their memoir, Dead Mom Walking, here.
Also make sure to check out Archie’s New York Times piece, titled Why My Father Called Me Son, Daughter, He, She and It.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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Alongside life's darkest moments there often are moments of absurdity that make us laugh.
In this episode, from a live San Francisco comedy festival in January, Anna and guests talk about the special kind of comedy born of something sad. Comedians Guy Branum and Carl Tart share stories of writing a sitcom about Zoom-era social relationships. Chanel Miller, author of Know My Name, talks about coping with the trauma of being a victim of a high profile sexual assault case… by doing standup. And Faith Albright, a veterinarian specializing in at-home euthanasia, explores the delicate art of finding humor while supporting grieving families through difficult goodbyes. Plus an AI chatbot and musician Matt Nathanson duke it out over who can more creatively sum up each segment.
Chanel Miller’s books are the memoir Know My Name and Magnolia Wu Unfolds It All, which was recognized by the Newbury Awards this year.
Faith Albright’s work at onelivingsanctuary.org.
Matt Nathanson’s new album is called King of Unsimple and he’s on tour…find dates at mattnathanson.com
Guy Branum has upcoming standup shows in LA, Chicago, Seattle and more…find those dates at guybranum.com
Watch Carl Tart’s writing work on SNL… keep track of all his podcasts and improv shows on his instagram.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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When Joe Gow was fired from his position as chancellor and professor at the University of Wisconsin at La Crosse, his superiors said it was due to “abhorrent” behavior. Joe had made porn videos with his wife Carmen and uploaded them onto the internet under the name “Sexy Happy Couple.”

This week, Joe and Carmen tell their side of the story and explain how making porn spiced up their marriage. They also defend themselves against the argument that what they did was inappropriate.

Slate writer Dan Kois’ previous interviews with Joe Gow:

The Porn Chancellor Speaks

What’s Next for the “Porn Chancellor”

You can check out our previous series about erectile dysfunction, called Hard, here.

Podcast production by Cameron Drews.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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In 2020, we made an episode about a listener who cheated on his wife with sex workers and was going through a divorce. He told us the idea to go on the website Seeking Arrangement came from an episode we made about sugar babies. A few weeks ago we called “Ethan” back to see what’s changed in his life since our first conversation, and how he navigates discussions about his past infidelity with his new wife.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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Anna talks to writer Ada Calhoun, author most recently of the novel Crush, about a married woman succumbing to extramarital temptation (she wrote it while she herself was separating from her husband) and then to comedian Rosebud Baker about her new Netflix comedy special, The Mother Lode, which is all about late-stage pregnancy and early motherhood.
This episode was recorded live at On Air Fest in New York City on February 20th.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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Since the inauguration in January, we’ve been getting emails and voice recordings from people whose lives have been thrust into uncertainty due to changes made by the Trump administration. Many federal workers and people who rely on federal money have lost their jobs. Others feel vulnerable and uncertain.
This week, we’ll hear from a range of people who’ve been affected, from an IRS attorney who’s been a target of Elon Musk’s DOGE efforts to an army sergeant who could very likely be forced out of her post because she’s trans.
Podcast production by Cameron Drews.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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When comedian Chelsea Devantez began writing her memoir, she knew exactly where to start: with a teenage relationship that spiraled into domestic violence. But when she submitted her draft, lawyers informed her she legally couldn't name her abuser or detail what happened.
"I threw the book in the trash for a few months," Chelsea recalls. After consulting friends and family, she decided to continue writing with a new approach. "Instead of telling my story, I would try to tell the story of how our systems are set up to silence."
In this episode, Chelsea and Anna also discuss how a complex PTSD diagnosis helped explain puzzling personality traits, friendship breakups, family secrets, and navigating a male-dominated, rich kid comedy scene.
Chelsea Devantez’s memoir is called I Shouldn't Be Telling You This: (But I'm Going to Anyway), and she has a podcast called Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast.
Podcast production by Zoe Azulay and Andrew Dunn.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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Six and a half years ago, in the wake of the #MeToo movement, we asked our listeners how they think about manhood–how to be, what’s hard, where they feel lost. Fast forward to 2025, and the norms and trends around manhood are even more varied and complicated. So we thought it would be a good time to revisit the stories from 2018 and provide updates on some of the men we heard from.
If you are a man, or are raising a man, or love a man, and want to share more about what you’re noticing about mixed signals about manhood and masculinity today and where you get stuck, record a voice memo and send it to us at deathsexmoney@slate.com.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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When the poet and writer Kaveh Akbar likes something, he really likes it. As a high school student, he got hooked on poetry. In college, it was alcohol. This week, Kaveh talks to Anna Sale about the factors that led to his sobriety, and he explains exactly how he manages a life that’s full of healthy, wonderful obsessions as well as problematic ones.
Kaveh’s critically acclaimed novel Martyr! is now available in paperback. You can read about his temporary fixation on collecting basketball cards in GQ.
Podcast production by Cameron Drews.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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In 2023, Anna and On The Media’s Micah Loewinger traveled to Montana to talk to Tasha Adams, the ex-wife of Stewart Rhodes, who founded the far-right paramilitary group, the Oath Keepers. Stewart had been charged with seditious conspiracy for his participation in the January 6 Capitol riots, and Tasha was eagerly awaiting sentencing: “I need him to stay locked away so my kids can legally cut contact with him when they’re 18.”
Tasha described their decades-long marriage, from their courtship in a ballroom dance class in Las Vegas, to abuse and isolation as Stewart became transfixed on politics and apocalyptic ideas. She and her six kids managed to escape in 2018. And shortly after our conversation there was some good news for Tasha: her divorce was finalized, and Stewart got a long sentence – 18 years.
Then Trump was re-elected, and on his first day in office he issued nearly 1,500 pardons and commuted the sentences of 14 of his supporters in connection with Jan. 6. Among them was Stewart.
This week we’re replaying our 2023 conversation with Tasha, as well as a portion of a follow-up conversation we recorded with her right before Trump’s inauguration.
Watch: Trailer for ‘King of the Apocalypse’
Podcast production by Zoe Azulay
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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Comedian Gary Gulman is used to dealing with bullies. He grew up with older brothers, who he describes as "aggressive" and “unenlightened,” and he’s witnessed plenty of unkind behavior from his peers in the New York City comedy scene. This is all despite being, in his words, “very, very sensitive.”
This week, Gary talks about managing that sensitivity, standing up for his principles, and becoming more secure in who he is as a comedian and a man.
Podcast production by Andrew Dunn.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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Babygirl, the new erotic thriller starring Nicole Kidman, features an age-gap romance and a power imbalance. But according to the filmmaker Halina Reijn, it’s more about “what part of us is civilized…and what part of us is still driven by primal forces.” It’s also extremely entertaining, sexy, and dryly hilarious.
This week, Halina Reijn talks about why she wrote the movie, her decision to move away from a very successful and decades-long acting career, and her mission to get us all talking more openly about our sexual desires.
Podcast production by Cameron Drews.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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When Delores moved to New York City from Jamaica nearly thirty years ago she didn’t know anyone. But soon she found a community of other nannies and learned how to navigate job interviews and “fussy” parents who don’t like nannies to tell their children no.
In this week’s episode on paid caretaking, we explore the class and power dynamics inherent in care work. Plus, we hear from Faye*, a woman living with debilitating multiple sclerosis, and her husband Murray*, about how hiring outside help for caregiving shifts became essential to supporting their marriage.
Are you taking care of a loved one with MS? Murray suggests starting here for resources.
*Names have been changed.
Read Koa Beck’s essay about becoming a foster parent: “Nanny of the State.”
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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Whether it's a nanny taking us to school or a home health aide helping us age in place, most of us will rely on paid caregivers at some point in our lives. For the next two episodes, we'll talk to professional caregivers about the emotional and economic reality of the intimate work they do.
In episode one, we hear from two eldercare workers: Rahn*, whose relationships with patients have helped heal emotional wounds from his childhood, and Tita Rose, a Filipina immigrant who uncovered exploitation at a nursing home. Plus Goldi, a nanny, recounts how she handled a father’s inappropriate advances and how that experience changed her approach to working for parents.
*We used first names or pseudonyms in this story.
Will you be in the Bay Area on January 31st? Anna is hosting Sketchfest, a comedy show at Club Fugazi at 7pm. Get tickets and more info here.
Podcast production by Zoe Azulay
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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For our last episode of 2024, we’re sharing a handful of stories about what love actually looks like, with all its flaws and complexities. The late poet Nikki Giovanni kicks things off by discussing the complicated love she had for her parents. We also hear from actor Mahershala Ali and comedian Chris Gethard and their romantic partners, and Jane Fonda discusses heartbreak and her choice to end a marriage.
Here’s a full list of guests featured in this episode and links to the original DSM episodes that they appeared in:

Nikki Giovanni

Chris Gethard and Hallie Bulleit

Mahershala Ali and Amatus-Sami Karim

Laurie and Krista

Nikki and Darrell

Jane Fonda

Podcast production by Andrew Dunn and Cameron Drews.
To support Death, Sex & Money, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
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Todd is looking for love, but he’s unsure about disclosing something in dating profiles: his multiple sclerosis. On Slate’s How To podcast, Todd got some crucial advice from Jessica Slice and Caroline Cupp, authors of Dateable: Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down While Chronically Ill and Disabled.
This week, we’re sharing that wonderful episode with Death, Sex & Money listeners, and to kick things off, Anna talks to Carvell Wallace (the host of How To) about what makes this episode special. Listeners may remember Carvell from his appearance on DSM earlier this year.
Do you have a problem that needs solving? Reach out to the How To podcast at howto@slate.com or leave them a voicemail at 646-495-4001.
How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is their senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae.
Anna and Carvell’s conversation was produced by Cameron Drews. The rest of the DSM team includes Andrew Dunn, Zoe Azulay, and Daisy Rosario.
Here’s the estate planning checklist that Carvell mentions in the episode and the full episode of How To about estate planning. And here’s the episode featuring Carvell’s son – it’s delightful.
To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

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