Kelli María Korducki

Hard To Do

Alejandra Carrillohas quoted4 months ago
More than anything else, my uncertainty manifested as a physical sensation, a gut-level insistence I no longer had the option to ignore. I was privileged enough to recognize a value in my own happiness and the integrity in making a sacrifice to achieve it. I also knew that to do otherwise would be, at the act’s core, a selfishness of its own.
Alejandra Carrillohas quoted4 months ago
Above all, there was too much I wanted to do, too many windows that my sanity demanded I keep open.
Bianca Beltránhas quotedlast year
Sugar offers permission, and in it, validation that listening to one’s instinct is the exact opposite of insane. There is nothing pretty or interesting, after all, in coming spectacularly undone – nor in internalizing that as your fate. It is not crazy to leave even a good man, and it will not ruin you.
Bianca Beltránhas quotedlast year
‘But an ethical and evolved life also entails telling the truth about oneself and living out that truth.’
Bianca Beltránhas quotedlast year
Go, even though you love him.
Go, even though he’s kind and faithful and dear to you.
Go, even though he’s your best friend and you’re his.
Go, even though you can’t imagine your life without him.
Go, even though he adores you and your leaving will devastate him.
Go, even though your friends will be disappointed or surprised or pissed off or all three.
Go, even though you once said you would stay.
Go, even though you’re afraid of being alone.
Go, even though you’re sure no one will ever love you as well as he does.
Go, even though there is nowhere to go.
Go, even though you don’t know exactly why you can’t stay.
Go, because you want to.
Because wanting to leave is enough.
Bianca Beltránhas quotedlast year
Our intimate freedoms are startlingly new, and they absorb us in exhilarating pursuit. But the basic blueprint of Western partnership – a marriage between two people until one or the other is dead – remains tethered to a time that was not so free, nor so distan
Bianca Beltránhas quotedlast year
It’s taken for granted that a majority of us will form multiple romantic partnerships over our lifetimes.
And yet, we agonize over our cultivation of meaningful human connection.
Bianca Beltránhas quotedlast year
The primacy of personal growth and self-actualization overrides consideration of the collective yet counterintuitively sets us up to risk thwarting our own self-interest – that is, it sets us up to do what we want in the moment.
Bianca Beltránhas quotedlast year
The trappings of permanence made me feel uneasy, and for years youth had let me push them away, until the day it abruptly stopped being enough.
Bianca Beltránhas quotedlast year
I intrinsically grasped that my life could be an adventure of my own making; this seedling of a vision felt too precious to set aside, even as it rendered my heart ugly and wrong.
Sandra Berenicehas quoted2 years ago
The archetype of successful adulthood still rests on finding our ‘other half.’
Sandra Berenicehas quoted2 years ago
I was privileged enough to recognize a value in my own happiness and the integrity in making a sacrifice to achieve it.
Nataliahas quoted2 years ago
Women, by and large, have been socialized to fend for ourselves for centuries. Even as our domain has expanded beyond the home, we continue to possess a disproportionate command over the skills required to maintain it.
Nataliahas quoted2 years ago
Though it seems that everyone these days identifies as a member of the middle class, those with the bank accounts to match the designation are the likeliest to tie the knot.
Nataliahas quoted2 years ago
I tend to side with Barrett: patriarchy as an ideology doesn’t necessarily rely on capitalism – they just happen to be very complementary means of consolidating resource control in the hands of a select few.
Nataliahas quoted2 years ago
Yet, there’s not total agreement on exactly how patriarchy and the market economy feed into one another. The prevailing thesis is, more or less, that capitalism relies on patriarchy and, by extension, a nuclear family wherein (traditionally) female-performed domestic labour is both necessary and monetarily unvalued. Patriarchy doesn’t need capitalism, the argument goes, but capitalism does need patriarchy.
Nataliahas quoted2 years ago
Late capitalism has set the conditions for our relative autonomy, while also ensuring that we play by its rules. And therein lies the rub.
Nataliahas quoted2 years ago
lingering hell-no that keeps people in unhappy relationships for months and years without pulling the trigger: recognizing, after the fact, that the self-preservation instincts urging you to get out were wrong.
Nataliahas quoted2 years ago
Audre Lorde would tell a crowd gathered at Amherst College in the spring of 1980. ‘There is a pretense to a homogeneity of experience covered by the word sisterhood that does not in fact exist.’ Though we’re all inheritors of a history, some of us have longer threads on the rope’s frayed end.
Nataliahas quoted2 years ago
But the single most influential driver in the soaring divorce rates of the 1970s was the corresponding rate at which women who might have otherwise been housewives were entering the workplace. Where only 15 per cent of married women in the US worked outside of the home in 1940, by 1979 a full 50 per cent of married women earned their own wages.
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