Lights Out: A Dark Stalker Rom-Com

Picture me holding a toddler in one arm and a baby in another.”

Uh-oh. No, ovaries. Put down the warpaint.

He leaned closer. “Shirtless.”

Fuck. I was totally going to have this man’s giant babies.

“Like when we’re at that Airbnb we booked in the mountains, I want you to chase me down and fuck me in the woods like an animal.”

It was my turn to choke on nothing. Yup. Yes. I could definitely do that for her.

“I need you too much to go easy on you right now.”

I guess dirty work pays well?”

I was gonna dirty work her as soon as I got her alone.

“Are you saying that the couple who commits homicide together, stays together?”

He snorted. “Too wordy. I prefer the couple who slays together, stays together.”

The woman was down for kinky sex, knew how I liked my coffee, and was more than willing to aid in the murder of a rapist. What had I done to get so lucky?

Maybe I was already dead because kissing Aly felt a lot like heaven.

“It’s called a balaclava,” I told her.

“And what did I say?” she asked.

“Baklava. One is a mask. The other a delicious desert.”

The blaring of an alarm jarred me out of sleep. I shot up in bed, and for a second, I couldn’t see anything. Fear punched through me. Had the contacts rolled into the back of my eyes while I slept and severed my optic nerves? Was that even possible?

Aly groaned somewhere nearby. “What is that sound?”

“I don’t know. I’ve gone blind,” I said, voice laced with panic. Fuck, that was the second time I’d forgotten to disguise it.

“What?” she yelped, and the mattress shifted with her movement.

“Help me,” I whimpered, Batman-style, and yes, it was just as pathetic as it sounds.

“Oh my god,” she said with a shaky laugh. “You’re not blind. Your dumb baklava slid sideways.”

The woman was down for kinky sex, knew how I liked my coffee, and was more than willing to aid in the murder of a rapist. What had I done to get so lucky?