Abby Jimenez

“Because you’re worth it. You’re worth any flaw you might have. I’m not.”

I moved her away from me so I could look her in the eye. “You don’t think you’re worth it? Are you kidding me?”

Her exhausted eyes just stared back at me, empty. “I’m not worth it. I’m a mess. I’m irritable and impatient. I’m bossy and demanding. And I have all these health issues. I can’t give you babies. I’m not worth it, Josh. I’m not. Another woman would be so much easier.”

“I don’t want an easy woman. I want you.” I shook my head. “Don’t you get it? You are perfect to me. I feel like a better man just knowing that I can do anything for you—make you lunch, make you laugh, take you dancing. These things feel like a privilege to me. All those things that you think are flaws are what I love about you. Look at me.” I tipped her chin up. “I’m miserable. I’m so fucking miserable without you.”

I nuzzled into her hair, breathed her in. “I don’t want any of it without you.”

She shook her head against my chest. “I wish I could love you less. Maybe if I did, I could stomach taking this dream from you. But I don’t know how to even begin letting someone give up something like that for me. I would feel like apologizing every day of my life.”

She spoke against my chest. “You know you’re the only man I’ve ever cried over?”

I laughed a little. “I saw you cry over Tyler. More than once.”

She shook her head. “No. That was always about you. Because I was so in love with you and I knew I couldn’t be with you. You turned me into some sort of crazy person.”

She lifted her head and looked at me. “I’m so proud to know you, Josh. And I feel so lucky to have been loved by someone like you.”

She nodded. “Josh?”

“What?”

“It’s quiet,” she said.

“What is?” I asked gently.

“My mind. It’s finally quiet. It’s only quiet when I’m with you.”

He pulled me in, thumbing tears off my face. “Kristen, I need you to know that if none of these options were available to us, I would still want you. I want you no matter what. I want you first before I want anything else.” His face was earnest and steady. “I have no chance of happiness if I can’t have you. None.”

He caressed my cheek. “You know you’re the best thing to ever happen to me, right?” His eyes blazed with emotion. “I love you, Kristen. You are the one great love of my life.”

His words gripped my heart. “I love you too, Joshua. Forever.”

“Are you sure you’re not hitting on me?”

She set down napkins and silverware.

And you’re all brooding and aloof.

I’m officially done dating for the foreseeable future.”