Ramani Durvasula

some ways, with a narcissistic partner it can be worse than being a single parent, because you have to do all of the heavy lifting, but then your partner will still weigh in and perhaps attempt to control it when it is convenient.

Bottom line: If you intend to stay, get used to the territory. Don’t be surprised when it is cold in the winter; if you intend to stay, put on a coat.

a healthy relationship, your partner is a great “dream-catcher.” However, when that unformed dream is laughed at, questioned, or belittled, it may not recover. Worse, you may scrap the whole idea. Learn from these mistakes, and don’t even think about continuing to bring these aspirations to a narcissistic partner.

Remember, this is about managing your expectations. Step one: Make a list of people and places. This is a list of your “good-news people”—the cheerleaders, the supporters, the ones who believe in you on good days and bad.

taking the dreams and positive experiences to them instead of your partner, you are protecting yourself and growing yourself.

By taking the dreams and positive experiences to them instead of your partner, you are protecting yourself and growing yourself

can share the news with him or her but not with the vulnerability of a small child who is about to face a rejecting parent, but rather as a strong adult, with head held high, who is already aware of your worth, your value, and will not let another’s rejection sully your experience, your hopes, or your achievements.

Rule: Just like with the good news, don’t share it. And when you do, prepare it.

This kind of daily negligence and disregard for your stressors is one of the issues that many people highlight as one of the most exhausting, because they feel as though they are in a relationship alone.

Expect nothing, and stop taking the day-to-day “stuff of life” to your partner. You are already frustrated by these stressors and sharing them with your partner only adds to the frustration, or even makes it worse.