r.h. Sin

who were you before the nights
when madness plagued your soul
who were you before what you thought was love

the absence.

even while married

she felt alone

he was there

but fully unavailable

consilium II.

if he doesn’t want a relationship

don’t give him relationship benefits

when he loves.

a man in love

will never pass up

an opportunity

to be in the presence

of the one he loves

a man in love

will never give

the one he loves

any reason to question

his commitment

a man in love

will always choose

the one he loves

without hesitation

or regret

does he love you . . .

self-talk.

some of the most honest conversations

I’ve ever had

were in a room

occupied by just me and my own voice

lacrimae.

use your tears

to drown your demons

under the moon.

there were always those nights

when her mind went to war with her heart

the fight between what she knew

what she felt

and what she had to do

sometimes the hardest decisions

were made under the moon

July 9th 2014.

understand this

read these words

and let them sink into

the depths of your heart

when a man ignores you

that doesn’t mean try harder

it means do better

it means that your energy

is best served elsewhere

she, the journey.

she hid so much of what lived

within her heart

behind a smile that at times

appeared to be failing

she built her expectations

on pillars of lies

that at first gave off

the appearance of truth

laughter became a way

of drowning out the silence

that would sometimes

remind her of the things

she’d struggle to forget

but even in her darkest moments

she provided her own light

she became whatever she needed to be

in order to get closer

to a love she deserved

reached the bottom.

I’ll be honest with you

whatever I felt has faded

into the air

or possibly it has sunk

to the bottom of the sea

drowning, always drowning

until I lost the will to fight

no longer able to see the surface

or the purpose of continuing

to fight for us

I’m done, it’s over, the end