Sandra Gerth

Don’t leap from head to head. Instead of taking us from deep inside of one character’s mind to another’s in one big leap, make the shift more gradual and less jarring by narrating character thoughts only from a distance—reporting them instead of showing them. The chapters on narrative distance and internal monologue will also give you a better idea on how to reveal what characters are feeling and thinking without getting too deeply into their heads.

Describe an action in between character thoughts. After you reveal one character’s thoughts or feelings, pan out to show us an external action or a line of dialogue. Then show us an action or a response of the next character before going inside of his head.

Don’t take us into the head of too many characters. Choose wisely when it comes to whose thoughts and feelings you want to reveal. Also, don’t shift us to a new character too often but stay with them for a while. If you switch back and forth at random, your readers will become dizzy. Every time you switch, make sure you have a very good reason.

Example

Don’t leap from head to head. Instead of taking us from deep inside of one character’s mind to another’s in one big leap, make the shift more gradual and less jarring by narrating character thoughts only from a distance—reporting them instead of showing them. The chapters on narrative distance and internal monologue will also give you a better idea on how to reveal what characters are feeling and thinking without getting too deeply into their heads.

Describe an action in between character thoughts. After you reveal one character’s thoughts or feelings, pan out to show us an external action or a line of dialogue. Then show us an action or a response of the next character before going inside of his head.

Don’t take us into the head of too many characters. Choose wisely when it comes to whose thoughts and feelings you want to reveal. Also, don’t shift us to a new character too often but stay with them for a while. If you switch back and forth at random, your readers will become dizzy. Every time you switch, make sure you have a very good reason.

Example: