People often grimace when I tell them that my wife, Kathryn, and I put things in each other’s in-baskets, even when we’re sitting within a few feet of each other; to them it seems “cold and mechanical.” Aside from being an act of politeness intended to avoid interrupting the other’s work in progress, the practice actually fosters more warmth and freedom between us, because mechanical things are being handled in the system instead of tying up our attention in the relationship.