Lisa Damour

Untangled

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Leading clinical psychologist Lisa Damour identifies the seven key phases marking the journey from girlhood to womanhood, and offers practical advice for those raising teenage girls.
We expect an enormous amount from our teenage girls in a world where they are bombarded with messages about how they should look, behave, succeed. Yet we also speak as though adolescence is a nightmare rollercoaster ride for both parent and child, to be endured rather than enjoyed.
In Untangled, world authority and clinical psychologist Lisa Damour provides an accessible, detailed, comprehensive guide to parenting teenage girls. She believes there is a predictable blueprint for how girls grow; seven easily recognisable 'strands' of transition from childhood through adolescence and on to adulthood. Girls naturally develop at different rates, typically on more than one front, and the transition will be unique to every girl.
Each chapter describes a phase, such as 'contending with adult authority' and 'entering the romantic world', with hints and tips for parents and daughters, and a 'when to worry' section. Damour writes sympathetically and clearly, providing a practical and helpful guide for any parent, and for teenage girls too.
This book is currently unavailable
375 printed pages
Copyright owner
Bookwire
Original publication
2016
Publication year
2016
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Quotes

  • alhelicnghas quoted15 days ago
    Girls don’t part with childhood in one fell swoop. They don’t need you one minute and become completely independent the next. Instead, their skills—or, really, their confidence in their skills—develop at an uneven pace.
  • alhelicnghas quoted15 days ago
    “There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.” Raising teenagers is not for the fragile, and that’s true even when everything is going just as it should. Parents of teenagers need supportive partners and friends to prop them up when they feel that they just can’t take one more push-off. Knowing that you can serve as a reliable, safe base allows your daughter to venture out into the world; having the strength to stay in place when your daughter clings to and rejects you in short order usually requires the loving support of adult allies.
  • alhelicnghas quoted3 months ago
    Then she pushes you away. Hard. What just happened? Well, like a swimmer who gets her breath back, your daughter wants to return to the water, and she gets there by pushing off the side of the pool. This often takes the form of picking the dumbest fight ever or being nasty in a way that is both petty and painful (“Please tell me you didn’t actually wear those shoes with that skirt today”). While you could have hummed Paul Simon all day long, your daughter needs to hurry back to the depths as soon as she feels restored. Why can’t she linger? Because, to her, lingering feels babyish, which is just about the last thing that any normal teenager who is parting with childhood wants to feel.
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