Better Small Talk

mention what you believe your conversational partner’s emotional response to be.

Listen for something funny or notable that you would classify as a conversational high point. Keep it in your pocket. Wait like a cheetah in the tall grass of the savannah to see a different context or topic you can repeat it in. And then unleash it.

Details can compel others to laugh, feel mad, feel sad, or feel surprise. They can control moods and emotions.

some comments can be used solely for the purpose of seeing how the other person will react.

When you treat people like strangers, strangers they will remain.

You might talk about something you’re excited or fearful about, or share a sincere compliment or private opinion.

conversation is a race, and you have to warm up and prepare yourself accordingly.

You’ll see that crashing and burning is never really that bad, and people move on quickly—they’ll probably forget the interaction within the next ten minutes.

First, we tend to think or assume we’re better off keeping to ourselves than having short interactions with strangers.

It’s the difference between having a good answer or story when someone asks, “What did you do last weekend?” versus simply saying, “Oh, not too much. Some TV. What about you?” And how few of us can answer the following without stuttering and stalling: “So what’s your story?” The conversation résumé allows you to remind yourself that you’re not such a boring person after all, and that people should have reason to be interested in you and what you have to say.