Claire Shefchik

Quicklet on Gary D. Chapman's The 5 Love Languages (CliffNotes-like Summary)

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    this. At the end of every month check in with your spouse on this until he or she finally responds. “If your spouse starts speaking your love language by responding to your requests, your positive emotions toward him will return, and in time your marriage will be reborn” (Chapman, The 5 Love Languages).
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    The Six-Month Experiment—If your marriage is in dire straits and a high level of animosity exists, dig deep within the forgiving side of your soul and reach out to your spouse. For six months show humility by asking him or her for feedback suggestions on how you can better meet their emotional needs. Odds are they will eventually respond, which opens up the course toward learning each other’s primary love language. The example of Ann and Glenn show that this can very well save a marriage
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    average life span of romantic obsession is two years
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    quite possibly the deepest human need is to feel appreciated.
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    tell your spouse you would like to do a better job of meeting his or her emotional needs and ask them to provide feedback suggestions on how best to do this. At the end of every month check in with your spouse on this until he or she finally responds.
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    tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you….Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them
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    Jesus’ sermon on the mount
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    Can emotional love be reborn in a marriage?” Chapman asks at the chapter’s conclusion. “You bet. The key is to learn the primary love language of your spouse and choose to speak it.”
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    this make learning your partner’s primary love language all the more crucial to overall emotional well-being
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    The choice to speak your spouse’s love language even though it doesn’t come naturally to you is an enormous expression of pure, absolute love solely for the emotional benefit of someone for whom you care very deeply
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    study massage or sexual techniques if explicit touching is your spouse’s cup of tea
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    Each member of a relationship should take the time to learn how to effectively touch, and thus effectively please, their mate
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    show that you’re thinking of your spouse’s needs in a giving, altruistic manner
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    In addition to material items, “the gift of self” is often more profoundly impactful than anything
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    full 100 percent of your attention must be devoted to conversation and focused attention on your spouse who interprets this as the main way to feel truly loved
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    Make requests, not demands
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    reality will rear its ugly head after an average of two years
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    A wife commented: “‘He ignores me all day long and then wants to jump in bed with me. I hate it.’ She is not a wife who hates sex; she is a wife desperately pleading for emotional love
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    need to feel loved
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    learning to speak your spouse’s love language, which most often differs from yours
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