The Extremely Inconvenient Adventures of Bronte Mettlestone

what an extreme lack of insight meant

The boys seemed to speak to each other in this suddenly fierce way sometimes. I found it strange and alarming. But Connor shrugged, not seeming to mind at all.

In case you need it spelled out for you, I was anxious about my trip

was one of those. Then there are adults like Mr Ridgeway, who address children

as white and damp as the flesh of an apple

It was the first time I’d heard her laugh, and it was different from all the other aunts’ laughter: a sweet laugh, like a little phrase of music in a simple, major key.

But this meant that Aunt Sue couldn’t concentrate, Aunt Emma sobbed, Aunt Claire worked extra hard, Aunt Sophy hugged baby dragons, Aunt Nancy was cross – the Whispering King had been furious with grief when his wife died, I had read in Uncle Nigel’s history book – Aunts Maya and Lisbeth told stories, Aunt Alys was quiet, and Aunt Carrie—

The sky was still blue, but the softer blue of twilight now, as if it was getting sleepy.

Disappointment like cold tea spread all around my body, down my arms to my fingertips, down my legs to my toenails.

Then everyone would come back on board with bags full of souvenirs, faces flushed from the windy shore, brimming with stories of their day.