Say You Swear

I’ve known that girl was worth the world since the moment I met her.” I

I hear you. Honest, I do, and I know you’re right, but if there’s ever a time for me to be selfish, this is it. Because despite what she or anyone else might think is right for me right now, there is no way in this fucked-up world we’re currently living in that I could go out on that field and do a damn thing while my reason for breathing is lying here.” I shake my head slightly. “My regret would come from leaving her, not from staying. I could never regret being where I am right now. This is where I belong. This is where I’m staying. Nothing changes that and nothing is more important.”

What if my baby is hurting, dying inside like me?

Slowly, and a little more each day?

Twice as hard each night?

What is she misses me, and all she wants is for my arms to wrap around her, for me to pull her in and tell it’s okay? That we’re okay, and that I love her with all I am and want her for all she is?

That right there is about enough to kill me.

The mere thought of being the reason behind her pain is too much for me.

I’m sick to my stomach, my muscles ache.

My head and my heart are at war, and I’m not sure either can win.

Because I did this.

I asked my girl to consider that maybe I’m not the one for her, knowing all the while, she is the only one for me.

I need my baby, and I can only fucking hope, she needs me just as much