The Chrysalids

‘Rachel’s afraid. She’s crying inside. She wants Michael.’

Did you mean to sleep all day?’

Damn you!’ she said again. ‘Go on, laugh at me, God damn your lovely face. Laugh at me because I do want him, me!’ She gave a queer, choked laugh herself. ‘And what’s the use? Oh, God, what’s the use? If he weren’t in love with you, what good would I be to him—like this?’

Damn you,’ she said viciously. ‘Leave me alone, damn you.’

I’m frightened of him. He’s a different kind. Not like us. Not the same sort at all. It would be outrageous—like an animal. I couldn’t, ever . . . If he tries to take me I shall kill myself. . . .’

You’ve never known loneliness. You can’t understand the awful emptiness that’s waiting all round us here. I’d have given him babies gladly, if I could. . . . I—oh, why do they do that to us? Why didn’t they kill me? It would have been kinder than this . . .’

If she were to give him children, he wouldn’t want me any more,’ she said at last.

If she were to give him children, he wouldn’t want me any more,’ she said at last.

What you want to learn next is to make good think-pictures instead of just noisy ones,’ she added deflatingly.

Why did he say you must kill Rosalind and me?’

I pulled myself together.