Books
Aubrey Malone

Football Wit

Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
One of the most difficult tasks I had
on match days was shaking hands
with the opposing manager if I’d lost.
Brian Clough
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
Some teams are so negative they
should be sponsored by Kodak.
Tommy Docherty
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
My local football team are so
bad, every time they get a corner
they do a lap of honour.
Bob Monkhouse
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
Jose Mourinho turned down the
position of Pope when he heard
it was only an assistant position.
Harry Pearson
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
Is scoring a goal better than sex?
Well it’s about five years since I did
either, so I must decline to answer
that question on grounds of amnesia.
Ken Cunningham
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
I don’t think we’ll go down. But
then again, the captain of the
Titanic said the same thing.
Neville Southall on Everton’s chances
of avoiding relegation
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
Alcoholism V Communism
Banner on display during the 1982 World
Cup when Scotland were playing Russia
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
As a small boy I was torn between
two ambitions: to be a footballer or
to run away and join a circus. At
Partick Thistle I got to do both.
Alan Hansen
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
When he came to the club, all he
could say in English was ‘Yes’, ‘No’
and ‘Morning’. A week later he’d
added ‘Thank you’ and ‘Budweiser’.
Jim Duffy on his Czech signing, Dusan Vrto
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
The English football team
– brilliant on paper, shit on grass.
Arthur Smith
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
Other nations
have history. We
have football.
Uruguayan manager Ondino Viera
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
The rules of soccer are
simple. If it moves, kick it. If it
doesn’t, kick it until it does.
Phil Woosnam
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
The Liverpool theme song is
‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’.
The Wimbledon one is ‘You’ll
Never Walk Again’.
Tommy Docherty
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
Most football teams are
temperamental. That’s 90 per cent
temper and 10 per cent mental.
Doug Plank
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
The secret of being a good
manager is to keep the six
players who hate you away from
the five who are undecided.
Jock Stein
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
The three greatest football
managers of all time were Jock
Stein, Jock Stein and Jock Stein.
Doug McLeod
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
Anyone who’s thinking of applying
for the job of Scotland manager in
the next eight or nine years should
go and get themselves checked
out by about 15 psychiatrists.
Martin O’Neill
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
There’s only one
certainty in football:
managers get sacked.
Brian Kerr
Tony Mikhashenokhas quoted4 years ago
There are two types of manager:
those who’ve just been sacked and
those who are just about to be.
Howard Wilkinson
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