The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone – Especially Ourselves

Every enticing item you pass in the window and don’t buy is a crushed impulse, slowly whittling away at your reserve of willpower—making it much more likely that later in the day you will fall for temptation.

One percent of people will always be honest and never steal,” the locksmith said. “Another one percent will always be dishonest and always try to pick your lock and steal your television. And the rest will be honest as long as the conditions are right—but if they are tempted enough, they’ll be dishonest too. Locks won’t protect you from the thieves, who can get in your house if they really want to. They will only protect you from the mostly honest people who might be tempted to try your door if it had no lock.”

We may not always know exactly why we do what we do, choose what we choose, or feel what we feel. But the obscurity of our real motivations doesn’t stop us from creating perfectly logical-sounding reasons for our actions, decisions, and feelings.

Although most people haven’t consciously figured out (much less announced) their acceptable rate of lying like this young man, this overall approach seems to be quite accurate; each of us has a limit to how much we can cheat before it becomes absolutely “sinful.”

Giving people favors is a time-honored way of gaining loyalty.

Although the Broken Windows Theory has been difficult to prove or refute, its logic is compelling. It suggests that we should not excuse, overlook, or forgive small crimes, because doing so can make

Theory, they suggested a simple strategy for preventing vandalism: fix problems when they are small. If you repair each broken window (or other misbehaviors) immediately, other potential offenders are going to be much less likely to misbehave.

The specific, practical lessons we can draw from religion are that moral reminders, rules, habits, and starting over can help all of us stay on the straight and narrow for a bit longer

If I were in charge of developing a modern version of the phrase, I would probably pick “Remember your fallibility” or maybe “Remember your irrationality.” Whatever the phrase is, recognizing our shortcomings is a crucial first step on the path to making better decisions, creating better societies, and fixing our institutions.

Figure 6: A Summary of the Forces That Shape Dishonesty

Our daily activities, on the other hand, are entwined in a complex cultural context. This cultural context can influence dishonesty in two main ways: it can take particular activities and transition them into and out of the moral domain, and it can change the magnitude of the fudge factor that is considered acceptable for any particular domain

every time business breaks through new technological frontiers—whether the invention of the postal service, the telephone, the radio, the computer, or mortgage-backed securities—such progress allows people to approach the boundaries of both technology and dishonesty. Only later, once the capabilities, effects, and limitations of a technology have been established, can we determine both the desirable and abusive ways to use these new tools.

The more creative we are, the more we are able to come up with good stories that help us justify our selfish interests.

This experience taught me that sometimes (perhaps often) we don’t make choices based on our explicit preferences. Instead, we have a gut feeling about what we want, and we go through a process of mental gymnastics, applying all kinds of justifications to manipulate the criteria. That way, we can get what we really want, but at the same time keep up the appearance—to ourselves and to others—that we are acting in accordance with our rational and well-reasoned preferences

The moral of this story? We may not always know exactly why we do what we do, choose what we choose, or feel what we feel. But the obscurity of our real motivations doesn’t stop us from creating perfectly logical-sounding reasons for our actions, decisions, and feelings

This mysterious connection between exhaustion and the consumption of junk food is not just a figment of your imagination. And it is the reason why so many diets die on the chopping block of stress and why people start smoking again after a crisis.

“Morality, like art, means drawing a line somewhere.

Maybe we should get our public servants and businesspeople to take an oath, use a code of ethics, or even ask for forgiveness from time to time. Perhaps such secular versions of repentance and appeal for forgiveness would help potential cheaters pay attention to their own actions, turn a new page, and by doing so increase their moral adherence.

You must not let your emotions dictate your actions.

THE STORY OF Daniel and his friends shows us how to resist conflicts of interest: try as hard as you can not to accept gifts that could sway your judgment.