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Patrick King

Stop People Pleasing

  • Sofiahas quoted3 years ago
    We allow friends, employers, and significant others—not ourselves—decide how valuable we are.
  • Sofiahas quoted3 years ago
    But when a child does something to irritate or anger them, a parent or guardian might express disapproval, possibly through punishment. We then understand their love as conditional. If we don’t behave how our parents want, we sense they’re rejecting us. We may perceive them as being emotionally unavailable or at best only occasionally available.
  • Sofiahas quoted3 years ago
    People-pleasers promise to do everything for anyone—even if they hate it or are lying
  • Sofiahas quoted3 years ago
    A people-pleaser is worried about rejection. They have a need, as we all do, to be accepted and treasured—to be loved.
  • b2038372027has quoted3 years ago
    you expect yourself to be the perfect parent, child, sibling, friend, neighbor, and colleague all rolled into one, never upsetting anybody or messing up any of those relationships, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. You’ll be bound to feel like you’re never enough, because the reality is that no single person can be everything to everyone.
  • b2038372027has quoted3 years ago
    To get unstuck in that destructive pattern, start treating yourself with more compassion and kindness. Try to be a good friend to yourself. Instead of being the first to blame yourself for every mistake or disapproval from others, be gentle with yourself. Remember that you’re allowed to mess up, that you’re not responsible for others’ happiness, and, most importantly, that you’re allowed to put yourself first.

    Learn to be gentle with yourself.

  • charmila charmihas quoted4 days ago
    aybe twice a month she would go out for lunch and offer to bring back sandwiches for her entire unit. Most of the time, she didn’t ask to be paid back.
  • Cas Perhas quoted6 months ago
    A people-pleaser is worried about rejection. They have a need, as we all do, to be accepted and treasured—to be loved.
  • b5322139133has quotedlast year
    You just want everyone to be peaceful, live in harmony, and never have a problem with anyone or anything else ever again and maybe have a unicorn or leprechaun on the side. No problem, right?
  • b5322139133has quotedlast year
    You never say how you feel because you’re afraid you’ll cause unpleasantness
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