Look The Part

Without looking back, he grabs his jacket and the door closes behind him.

She crawls off the bed and pulls her nightshirt back on over her head like she’s angry at it too.

No one on their deathbed says, “Remember how incredible it felt to make wise decisions?”

This is not a story about autism. This is a story about life. And in life there are children with autism and parents navigating unchartered territory to give these children a voice and a future. Every child is unique. Every journey requires a different map. This is one story. One journey. Harrison was inspired by the children I have personally had the pleasure to know and love.

Five years—Dozens of Cookies—A New Baby Brother—And Thirteen Rats Later …

“I d-don’t remember h-her.” He sobs.

I step over the mess on the floor to get to the other side of the bed. Hunching down in front of him, I pull him into me, falling backward under the weight of him when he surrenders. And for the next few minutes, I hold my child, gently rocking him, feeling his pain and bleeding more of my own.

He doesn’t know how to forgive me for taking something—someone—that doesn’t exist in his

“It’s heartbreaking to see him at night watching you and Aria from the window.” She nods to the window opposite of where I hold Aria. “I told him to go in, but he said he’s fighting a cold.”

“When’s the last time you saw him?”

She shrugs. “Last night. He’s been here every night. Just … standing there for hours

I lived. Heidi died. The wrong person died. The wrong person lived.

“How’s Aria?”

Heidi died. She died on the night I was supposed to give her another baby.

“Flint?”

I shake my head. “Yeah?”

Jon narrows his eyes. “Are you okay?”

I nod on impulse. I’m so fucking not okay

Dead on arrival.” Jon gives me a sympathetic look, but not the kind that says he knows about Heidi—the kind that says how lucky his daughter and granddaughter are to be alive. “Ellen was hit by a drunk driver. The driver died.”

Aria means melody in English. It’s also the name of our daughter who I have not taken my eyes off of since they moved her from the OR to the NICU.