Dan Ariely

Irrationally Yours

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Ваня Бекетовhas quoted12 days ago
variety really is one of the most important spices of life.
Дарья Ксёнзhas quotedlast year
he point is that when we know something and know it well (for example, the song that we have picked), it is hard for us to appreciate the gaps in other people’s understanding—a bias that is called “the curse of knowledge.”
Siril Sulaimanhas quotedlast year
suspect your son is suffering from a combination of three decision biases. The first is the endowment effect, which has to do with our tendency to use our current situation as a reference point, and view any other alternative as a negative change from where we are now.
Siril Sulaimanhas quotedlast year
That’s where our free will resides—in our ability to design our environments in a way that is more compatible with our strengths and, even more important, helps us overcome our weaknesses.
Siril Sulaimanhas quotedlast year
When it comes to “comfortable,” it is useful to consider the economist Tibor Scitovsky, who argued in his book The Joyless Economy that there are two kinds of positive experiences—pleasures and comforts—and that we have a tendency to take the comfortable, safe, and predictable path way too often. This is particularly sad, Scitovsky argues, because real progress—as well as real pleasure—comes from taking risks and trying very different approaches to life and types of experiences.
Siril Sulaimanhas quotedlast year
When we are in social gatherings we look for discussion topics that everyone can take part in, and often these end up being about weather/sports/gossip. This, of course, also means that discussions naturally gravitate to some of the lowest common denominators—just so that everyone can be part of the exchange.
Siril Sulaimanhas quotedlast year
Loss aversion is one of the most basic and well-understood principles in social science. The basic finding is that losing something has a stronger emotional impact than gaining something of the same value.
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
This is one reason the temptation industry—bars, strip clubs, etc.—operates mostly at night: After we have been resisting temptations all day, we are depleted and ready to fail, and these temptation-institutions are ready to profit from our failure.
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
And since this is the established norm for these individuals, it will take focused and deliberate effort to change this pattern of behavior.
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
You judge your efforts by comparison to that imagined world, and, in relative terms, you feel bad about it.
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
The answer to your question lies in the realm of counterfactuals, which is thinking about what could have been and comparing what we have at hand to that alternate reality. Here is how counterfactuals translate into your daily drama: When you aim and miss, you can clearly imagine a world in which you sank your shot.
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
Another important reason for complaining is that we often look for reassurance—hoping the person we complain to will tell us that everything is OK and that what we’re experiencing is just part of life. In fact, often what we really hope for is that the other person will share their own horror stories with us, that our experiences will pale in comparison and make us feel much better.
Now, let’s return to your friend and ask why she was complaining. If she was looking to reconnect through shared misery, perhaps you should have indulged her efforts to strengthen your social bond. Perhaps you could have assured her that your bonds are strong and not in any need of additional strengthening.
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
This thought experiment asks whether you are the type of person that focuses on the maximum amount of pleasure in any given experience, or if you are more concerned with avoiding the low points—the minimum levels—of your experiences.
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
But, when the expectations are too extreme (let’s say by 60 percent or more), the gap between expectations and reality becomes too wide to bridge, and now, the contrast causes the expectations to backfire and reduce the enjoyment.
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
Dear Dan,
What is it about Internet communication—Facebook, Twitter, email—that seems to make people descend to the lowest common denominator?
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
It’s easy to blame the Internet, but I think we see such behavior mostly because we generally gravitate toward trafficking in trivialities. Consider your own daily interactions as an example. How much is witty repartee—and how much is the verbal equivalent of cat pictures?
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
because real progress—as well as real pleasure—comes from taking risks and trying very different approaches to life and types of experiences.
So, perhaps this is a good opportunity to give up your comfort and give pleasure a chance.
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
there are two kinds of positive experiences—pleasures and comforts
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” and so on. I can’t imagine that anyone would buy such transparently empty flattery but these lines are so common that they must be doing something
Victoria Gizhyrovahas quoted2 years ago
For example, when someone tells us to meet them at 8:03, we come to a different conclusion about how serious they are about meeting at an exact time compared to someone who tells us to meet them at 8 or 8-ish.
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