Podcast: Hidden Brain

When things go wrong in our relationships, we often try to change the way our partners behave. But usually, trying to fix a person only makes things worse. Last week, we talked to psychologist James Cordova about why this tendency can be so damaging, and what to do instead. This week, we explore another difficult but effective way to strengthen our relationships. Then, on Your Questions Answered, we bring back researcher Victor Strecher, who studies purpose. Vic spoke with us in June about the death of his daughter, and how it changed his own outlook on purpose. That conversation, which was called "You 2.0: What Is Your Life For?" had a powerful impact on many listeners. We'll hear Vic's responses to their thoughts and questions.

Many love stories end when the characters are still in the heady, euphoric early stages of a relationship. But what comes after that intoxicating first phase of love is over? Today, we kick off a new series on the challenges specific to long-term relationships. We'll talk with psychologist James Cordova about some of the common difficulties many couples face. We'll also look at a solution that scientific research suggests might actually work. Then, we'll bring you the latest installment of our segment Your Questions Answered. Researcher Jon Jachimowicz returns to respond to listeners' thoughts about the pursuit of passions.

The idea of being driven by a calling goes back centuries. It was the language used to describe religious people who were called to the priesthood — called, in effect, by God. Today, millions of people in secular professions yearn to be similarly galvanized by their work. This week, researcher Jennifer Tosti-Kharas explores the immense power—and the downsides — of finding a job that gives you purpose.

It's not easy for most of us to receive negative feedback. Even when the person delivering that feedback is constructive and reasonable, we often feel the urge to defend ourselves. This week, we look at the psychology of defensiveness with neuroscientist Emily Falk. We'll explore what causes so many of us to resist constructive criticism, and how we can get better at giving and receiving such feedback. Then, in the latest installment of our ongoing series "Your Questions Answered," psychologist Ciara Greene returns to the show to answer your questions about memory and forgetfulness.

Many of us have been raised to believe that if we want to get something done, we just need to set our minds to it. Where there's a will, there's a way, right? Yet somehow we end up polishing off that pint of ice cream in the freezer, or spending more than our budget allows. It's almost as if we're not the ones in charge. This week, we talk with psychologist and neuroscientist Emily Falk about why our minds often conspire against our best interests, and how we can regain control.

Perfectionism is everyone’s favorite flaw. It’s easy to assume that our push to be perfect is what leads to academic, athletic, and professional success. But how do we distinguish between high standards and unrealistic expectations? This week, we bring you a favorite conversation with psychologist Thomas Curran. He says perfectionism has a dark side, and that there are much healthier ways to strive for excellence. Then, we bring you the latest edition of our segment "Your Questions Answered." Sociologist Allison Pugh returns to the show to respond to listener questions about connective labor — the work of seeing another person, and having that person feel seen.

When tragedy strikes, it’s natural to be devastated. But psychologist George Bonanno finds that many of us recover from life’s blows more quickly than we might expect. This week, we talk with Bonanno about his research and why it has changed how many scientists think about trauma and resilience.

Have you ever fallen asleep in school or during a work meeting? Maybe you felt your eyes glaze over as your boss or a teacher droned on and on about a topic that had no relevance to you. What's missing from these classrooms and conference rooms is engagement: A state of being absorbed, alert, and eager to learn. This week, psychologist and neuroscientist Mary Helen Immordino-Yang explores why so many of us feel apathetic at school and at work, and how to cultivate the magic of engagement.

Aging isn’t just a biological process. Our outlooks and emotions also change as we age, often in ways that boost our well-being. This week, we revisit a favorite conversation with psychologist Laura Carstensen, who helps us unpack the science behind this surprising finding, and shares what all of us can learn from older people. Then, as part of our ongoing series "Your Questions Answered," we revisit our follow-up chat with Laura, who responds to listeners' thoughts and questions and shares more of her research on what it means to live well as we age.

Why do some people risk their own lives to help another person, or give away their fortunes for the benefit of strangers? This week, we talk with psychologist and neuroscientist Abigail Marsh, who studies the science of altruism. We'll explore what's known about the brains of people who perform acts of remarkable selflessness, and how the rest of us can learn to be more like them.

We all tell stories about ourselves, often without realizing we’re doing so. How we frame those stories can profoundly shape our lives. In our latest You 2.0 episode, we bring you a favorite conversation with psychologist Jonathan Adler. He shares how to tell our stories in ways that enhance our wellbeing. Then, Max Bazerman answers your questions about the science of negotiation.

What does it mean to be stoic? Many of us assume it means you have a stiff upper lip, or that you suppress your emotions. That's what Massimo Pigliucci thought — until he started to peruse a book called Meditations. It was written nearly two thousand years ago by the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius. But Massimo, now a philosopher, says Meditations, and Stoic philosophy more broadly, offer wisdom that continues to speak to our lives. This week, we explore Stoic ideas and the lessons they hold for what it means to live well.

Many of us believe that hard work and persistence are the key to achieving our goals. But is that true when it comes to the pursuit of happiness? This week, we revisit a conversation with psychologist Iris Mauss, who explains why happiness can seem more elusive the harder we chase it, and what we can do instead to build a lasting sense of contentment. Then, we bring you the latest edition of our segment "Your Questions Answered." Behavioral scientist Alison Wood Brooks answers listener questions on how to be a better conversationalist — from what to do when the other person isn't contributing, to how to stop others from interrupting.

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” The idea is that pursuing your passion will feel invigorating — almost magical. But passions can easily wane over time. This week, behavioral scientist Jon Jachimowicz looks at how to keep our passions alive, and how to channel old passions into new pursuits.

What should you do with your life? There's no one-size-fits-all answer to that question. But there are scientifically-tested methods that can help you to feel more in harmony with yourself and the world. This week, and in a companion conversation for Hidden Brain+, researcher Victor Strecher explores the science of creating a life full of meaning. It's the kickoff to our annual You 2.0 series, which this year will focus on purpose and passion. If you’ve reached the midpoint of the year and you’re feeling adrift, alone, or burned out, this series is for you.

There’s a saying that’s attributed to the Dalai Lama: in the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher. It’s a nice idea. But when people don’t share our values, it’s hard for us to tolerate theirs. This week, we bring you a favorite episode with sociologist Robb Willer. We discuss the common mistakes we make in trying to persuade others of our point of view — and how to break out of our echo chambers. Then, Kenji Yoshino answers your questions about how we hide our true selves.

Learning to play a musical instrument is hard. So is trying to run a marathon, writing a term paper, and caring for a sick child. These things involve frustration, pain, and disappointment — yet we do them anyway. This week, in part two of our look at the allure of suffering, psychologist Michael Inzlicht explains what we get from doing things that are difficult, and why the things we think will make us happy often do not.

We generally think of pain as something to be avoided. But psychologist Paul Bloom says that as much as we're wired to avoid suffering, we also seek it out. This week, we begin a two-part mini series about the curious pleasure we take in certain forms of pain.

Revenge often feels sweet, but what price do we pay for seeking it out? Researcher James Kimmel, Jr. proposes a radical theory: our desire for vengeance operates like an addiction in the brain. This week, how “revenge addiction” plays out in our everyday lives — and on a global scale.

Have you ever encountered someone who clearly knows you, but you have no idea who they are? This week, we feature a classic Hidden Brain episode about people on opposite ends of the facial recognition spectrum. Then, in the second part of the show, we bring you another perspective on facial recognition from the Revisionist History podcast. Host Malcolm Gladwell struggles with identifying faces, while producer Lucie Sullivan is exceptional at it.