Rachel Mennies

The Naomi Letters

    Matilde Merinohas quoted4 months ago
    But Naomi, last night I slept.

    I disappeared from my body and returned only when I was ready.
    Crystal Vega-Huertahas quoted4 months ago
    How do I look away now that I have seen you?
    Crystal Vega-Huertahas quoted4 months ago
    The problem with certainty lives in its instability: how this afternoon I sliced open a peach at its seam, finding it gone to mush.

    I licked each wet wrist before I threw the peach in the garbage.

    Yesterday it would have been delicious—the day before, inedible.

    What I’m trying to say, Naomi, is you found me at the exact right time.
    Crystal Vega-Huertahas quoted4 months ago
    What warm silence I have found here alone in the morning.

    Olds calls it the stillness of the quiet / skirts of the dark, on the ground.

    I reach for the light cautiously—a gift rising at my cold door.

    A new lover who learns the dawn air as she reaches.

    But Naomi, last night I slept.

    I disappeared from my body and returned only when I was ready.

    Have you brought me this impossible peace?

    If you have, you mustn’t tell me—or else you mustn’t leave me—
    Crystal Vega-Huertahas quoted4 months ago
    Where my friend awakens, there is no snow.

    Can you imagine it?

    She must step into her grief in a world full of sun.
    Crystal Vega-Huertahas quoted4 months ago
    What if it’s my desire that lengthens the night?

    How the letters I write you cool once they leave my hands.

    How the world holds itself so still in the frost, waiting.
    Crystal Vega-Huertahas quoted4 months ago
    Tonight the bed bends with unwritten texts.

    Tonight I imagine offering you rested hands. Accountable hands.

    I strip myself of spirit and stand before you.

    My pulse collects wet in my clavicles and I cannot help

    but touch there first, the hollow thrum of bone,

    before the animal hand reaches for your face—
    Crystal Vega-Huertahas quoted4 months ago
    When I imagine touching you I rename myself: animal.

    A body whose body wants your body, bereft of the rest.

    (It is false, Naomi, this separation.

    But what if I can only touch you through the lie?)
    Crystal Vega-Huertahas quoted4 months ago
    I stopped desiring delicate things when I ceased, at last, to wish myself delicate.

    I used to walk in circles for hours to make my hips the width of a male shadow.

    I’d apply red lipstick, then call my reflection beautiful—

    I still couldn’t lift the mirror into my arms.

    I’m trying to believe my body needs no repair
    Crystal Vega-Huertahas quoted4 months ago
    If nobody has died, why do I grieve?

    How do I dress the body I will not meet? How do I dress the body I cannot love?
fb2epub
Drag & drop your files (not more than 5 at once)