Heroics for Beginners

An inexperienced prince sets out to recover a stolen artifact from an evil wizard in this comic fantasy adventure by the author of The Unhandsome Prince.
When a seemingly crazy, poorly dressed soothsayer tells you not to let a magical talisman fall into the wrong hands, take him or her seriously. DO NOT laugh it off and leave said talisman simply lying around on a side table; you might as well just end the world yourself.
—The Handbook of Practical Heroics, p. 134
The kingdom of Deserae is in the most direly perilous of dire perils. The realm’s precious magical talisman—Ancient Artifact Model Seven—is in the grimy hands of the evil Lord Voltmeter (He Who Must Be Named) . . .
Only one man can stop him (and, by the by, win the hand of Deserae’s exceedingly well-proportioned princess). Unfortunately, he’s never really done this sort of thing before. But Prince Kevin Timberline is determined to find a way into the Fortress of Doom (perhaps through the gift shop?), resist the advances of a leather-clad, whip-wielding temptress (well, maybe that’s not so bad), and face an army of unspeakable nastiness (okay, that’s bad), armed only with his reasonably pure heart, questionable courage—and most importantly, a copy of The Handbook of Practical Heroics . . .
Praise for Heroics for Beginners
“A satire that lampoons just about every genre cliché in existence while at the same time giving us a real romantic adventure story starring a likable hero and heroine for whom we eagerly root. . . .  Just the thing to put a smile on your face on a gloomy day. Or even a nice day.” —SF Reviews
“There’s a bucketful of good laughs in this one.” —Chronicle
“There’s something here for every fan of comic fantasy.” —RT Book Reviews
“Heroics for Beginners is Fractured Fairy Tales for a new age . . . Those who have worn out their copy of The Princess Bride will want to give this book a try.” —Starlog